Remember my “Moving Forward” Post? If not, head on over and give it a read, otherwise it may be a little hard to follow this post.
I’ve been thinking of writing a follow-up to my decision to leave graduate school and change paths. But, it wasn’t until now I feel that I’ve been able to truly understand how the decision has affected me.
My mom asked me a few weeks ago “Knowing that in a few months you could have been graduating from Purdue with your masters, do you regret leaving?” Without any hesitation, I said no. In fact, I feel the exact opposite of regret. I feel proud of my decision.
How could that be? I quit! I left a program I had committed to! How could I possibly feel any form of pride?
Reflecting on last year, I wasn’t happy. I wasn’t fulfilled, and I was not even a fragment of the person I used to be. I was detached from my work and the people around me. I think most can attest that I am a very passionate person and give my heart and soul to my work, even if it’s the most mundane task. To understand who you are and understand that the situation and place you are in is taking that away shows that you know what you want and who you are.
Even with the backlash I faced, even with the questions I was asked, even sitting here now, I can say that I made the right decision, for me. Recently, I was in an interview, and had to answer the question about why there is only “1 year of graduate work” on my resume. To my surprise, the women who interviewed me had great insight to my decision and had great compassion and understanding for my decision.
It has taken me awhile to push past the fear of ever falling back into feeling that way again. I think it’s proof that I made the right decision knowing that for a few months I had nightmares of returning.
Looking at my life, you may think “she’s only an assistant in a gym, she makes no contributions…her life in menial”. This is so far from the truth. You have to start at the bottom to work up to your dreams. You don’t just wake up and one day your life is everything you want it to be.
I am where I am because this is where God has led me. I believe that he has plans for me and he gives me the courage and strength to work towards them each and everyday.
Thanks to everyone for their support. I <3 you.